Your Inner Circle - creating your inner postpartum sanctuary

Updated: Nov 5, 2020

Your postpartum period is a sacred period of time where not only a baby has been born but also it is the birth of the #newbornmother in you. Getting your support team ready is a good place to start when planning your postpartum period.

You know we all have those friends and family who mean well but are not the people we think about having a round in those first weeks and even months after giving birth because we know they are going to come with some form of drama or want to hold your precious newborn for hours while you make tea for them and lets face it, this is a time in your life that you need to take responsibility of planning for your precious postpartum. If you don't do it and set the tone before bubs arrives it will be really hard to create a boundary and thus increasing your stress and anxiety. Two things you want to avoid during your postpartum. Here's why.

“A newborn Mothers only two jobs are falling in love and breastfeeding." Julia Jones Newborn Mothers Collective

An Inner Circle as I refer to it are the people who will be apart of your postpartum in the way that you ask them to be, with no questions asked. These are people who respect the sacred journey you are on to integrate into your new normal and who wish not to disturb that process but enhance it by taking care of tasks that you don't need to be while your in your postpartum period.

You Postpartum Inner Circle

Knowing who you would like to invite into your inner circle is normally pretty easy, but it is the people who you don't want to include that can feel like this process is going to be clunky and uncomfortable. Hopefully by the end of this blog you will have some great steps to follow that will make this task one you enjoy when approaching.

Here at #meals4mummas we are always looking for ways to share knowledge and experiences that will enhance your postpartum journey.

  1. Begin by making a list of all the tasks that you do on a daily and weekly basis - I guess your responsibilities.

  2. Then take a few deep breaths, with one hand on your heart and the other over your baby and ask yourself how do you want to feel during your postpartum? Now here's your chance to dream BIG, don't hold back, if resources were endless how would you plan to have a period of time where your only 2 jobs are to bond with your baby and learn to breastfeed. Go!

  3. Ask yourself, who is you main support person (not partner looking after other children) looking after your needs of food, hydration, emotional support, nursing bubs while you shower - basically anything you need. How long do you have that person?

  4. Next begin jotting down names of people who you would like to be apart of your inner circle with the view to invite them in and take on a responsibility that you have named at point 1.

  5. Invite those people individually and have a conversation with them about how you are going to create your postpartum environment and that you would love to have them be apart of your inner circle of support during that time. Pump there tires a bit and let them know how special they are to you and that you are being very selective on who you want to have around. Then ask them what they feel they would like to do for you? This makes it so much easier then saying, so I see you coming round every second day and doing a load of washing! What we forget is that people want to help and they offer but can lack the follow through - normally because they don't want to intrude. This is so crucial to point out that everyone in your inner circle will have a specific role and that they are not to drop the ball. By following this process, you are getting their buy in to be available and commit. Once you know what they are up for, kindly and graciously thank them and let them know that you are thrilled and feel so loved and will be coordinating a roster of sorts for those first few weeks of life with your newborn.

  6. Once all of those conversations have taken place (which will feel really good and get the oxytocin going) begin to make your roster and fill the gaps for the responsibilities and care of you.

  7. Put an email together to send to everyone else who would like to be involved but didn't make the cut to express how you are planning your precious postpartum and give them the parameters of what would be really helpful (maybe they can be involved in a meal roster) if they so choose along with timelines that you won't be having visitors as you are spending this time getting to know your little one and adjust as a family.

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